Late-Night Hosts Target Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Visa Plan

Late-night's leading hosts devoted their airtime criticizing former President Donald Trump's recently launched visa initiative, labeled the "Trump card," characterizing it as a obvious cash-for-residency arrangement for the affluent.

The Late Show's Pointed Take

Starting his show, Stephen Colbert delivered a satirical Christmas jingle about the president. "He's making a list, checking it twice, and then giving that list to the people at ICE," he sang. "Trump ... destroys everything he handles."

Colbert's target was the new initiative that allows foreign nationals to buy U.S. legal status for the price of a million dollars, with a "premium" version for five million. A government page pledges processing "faster than ever."

"One message here to wealthy applicants: prior to you fork over the cash, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He explained that the scheme is also intended to "extract cash" from companies wanting to hire foreign workers, with hefty costs. "That is a lot of fees, however if you sign up, you also get free accommodation at a hotel of your choice – as long as it's the a specific Marriott," he said.

"Unprecedented vetting the U.S. government has before done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to ensure these individuals truly qualify to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're suitable to be an American," Colbert responded. "First question: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"It's a card that will let affluent foreigners to live here," he explained. "For a million dollars, you get legal visitor status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one significant crime of your choosing."

"Perhaps it's time to change that poem on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your huddled masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel lampooned the simplicity of the application, noting it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Indeed, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "It's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Economic Concerns

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's slipping poll numbers during economic concerns. "People gave Donald Trump a second term since they were mad about the economy," he noted.

This week, in a effort to tackle prices, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of food items, and reacted strangely to some cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages."

"Trump is so extremely weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by targeting conservative media coverage of Trump's financial performance. "Perhaps rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he joked.